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Not too long ago, I felt desperately depressed. I was depressed for so long, I thought it was actually normal.
Well.. I was struggling with depression and anxiety. Not just feeling down or “sad.” no, this was the severe “I wish I had the energy to kill myself”, type of depression and anxiety.
The type of spiraling out of control where every thought is racing and you can just give up on falling asleep.
My anxiety, insomnia, and depression destroyed my self esteem, demolished my self worth, and left me living like a zombie that hoped to just finish one more day.
These days it can be hard to go back. To remember what it was like to be in that state of mind. See the deep pain in my eyes that repulsed everyone away from me…
I suffered from depression for 11 years. In case you don’t already know my story, I started getting depressed symptoms when I was a child. I went through my entire adolescence and young adulthood in pain and feeling out of place.
On top of my already existing depression my brother had passed away and I had one friend that was close to me die years later.
In the midst of my anguish I decided that if I didn’t fix my depression in one year I would take my life. I signed the note and made an honest agreement with myself.
I was at the final straw. I no longer was just contemplating suicide...
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